i just don’t….
I’m sorry but I don’t agree with kin types. No amount of research or talking to those who identify as kin makes any sense to me. I had someone explain it was like spirit animals. I’m sorry, what you’re describing does not sound like a spirit animal. And I find that horribly offensive. To me, it’s mocking spirit animals. As someone who is both bisexual and trans, I can understand a whole lot of shit. But this. I just….don’t. It sounds like DID. My friend has DID. I had her read a number of people’s tales of their feelings. She said it sounds a lot like what she goes through every day. I have a few friends going into the psych field and have graduated who’ve said the same thing.
I’m just saying.
Hi there. I’m wondering who explained otherkin to you, because its not really a lot like either spirit animals or DID. An otherkin doesn’t have multiple personalities, and their kintype isn’t separate from them, its who they are. Basically a part of their internal identity.
Ok, but from what I’ve seen, most people believe they are those things. They are an actual fox. They are a dragon. They are Steven from SU and that’s mental illness. You’re not a fox. You’re not a cartoon.
I’ve had a number of people all explain it differently and those were the running threads. It’s kinda like a spirit animal. And having a number of people who are in the medical field tell me it reads like DID or some other dissociation and having someone who is DID read a lot of these reports of being otherkin and saying they sound like her head. It’s just kinda alarming. I’ve read a number of people saying that they are different parts of themselves.
When people say they ‘are’ those things, they don’t mean in a delusional way, they mean in an internal way. We all know that we’re not *physically* a fox, or steven universe, and that we were born on this earth, etc, etc. Its simply an internal belief system, the same as believing really strongly that, for instance, your astrological sign actually means something, or believing that you’re one of god’s chosen people.
I am curious what people in the medical field are reading what blogs, because there is a difference between fictionkin and fictives. Fictives are DID alters, or other multiple headmates that ARE separate from the original person. Fictionkin are not that.
See, I think people who think they’re ‘chosen’ are just as delusional.
No, you may not think you’re those people. But a number of them do. But the better question, is why do you think you’re those things? Why is it not just liking the character a whole lot? Why is it your internal belief system? What made you feel that a robot was essentially part of your soul in so many words.
I could say i’m Hannibalkin. I roleplay as him, I identify with his character a lot. But I don’t see him as my spiritual whatever. He’s a character from a book written in the 70s.
See, I think people who think they’re ‘chosen’ are just as delusional.
Out of curiosity do you believe Jewish people are all delusional? and/or are you an atheist?
why do you think you’re those things
Ever since I was a small child I experienced feelings and sensations that I could not explain. Strange homestickness, odd word choice, strangely advanced reading and writing level, etc ect. I had a terrible fear of elevator crashes (I had recurring nightmares where I was an adult man and died in an elevator), and a terror of choking to death on my own blood, to name a few.
About 16 years ago, when I was around 13-14 was when I seriously started to understand my identity. I happened to walk by my brother watching an episode of Digimon 02 (a show I didn’t because I considered it childish and overly commercial) and was struck full force with something akin to deja vu for what was going on on the screen. A young boy, giving an interview for the camera. I told my brother ‘he’s the villain, isn’t he?’. My brother shrugged.
I sat down and watched. And I kept watching. Each episode of the show was painful, something akin to torture (and not just because its a terrible show). I wanted to stop watching, but I could not get it out of my head. I thought about it awake and asleep, and home and at school.
I had to stop watching about 20 episodes into the series when the character i had identified with had a mental breakdown, realizing his wrongdoing. I felt literally sick to my stomach. I had to excuse myself and go lie down. Over the next week I had a series of terrible, lifelike nightmares from that character, Ken’s perspective. I woke up crying and clutching the air for someone who wasn’t there. Someone who had disappeared in my arms. I dreamed I wandered the digital world like a desert, a hated, doomed pariah for what I had done.
It wasn’t until much later I learned that this almost perfectly mirrored what had happened to Ken on the show- what had happened to me in my previous life. After Ken’s breakdown, he fell into a melancholy, nearly a coma that lasted for days, where he relieved the painful parts of his past and his sins.But I was 14 at the time. I didn’t know or understand what was happening. I couldn’t assign any meaning to it. I tried to put it out of my mind, and live my life. And I did live my life, interspersed with strange visions and memories that weren’t mine.
I was 19, in 2005 when I first found out what otherkin, and otakukin (what fictionkin were called at the time) were, and slowly over a matter of weeks, everything snapped into place. The memories, the dreams, the deja vu. I was Ken Ichijouji. He was me in another life. I share his soul, his memories, his passions and his sins.
I remember so many things. I remember Ken’s brother- my brother’s funeral. I remember feeling like it was my fault, for wishing he’d go away. I remember not being able to look his photo in the eye. I remember the smell of the rain from a high balcony overlooking Tokyo. I remember my first glimpse into the digital world and feeling like I was finally worth something. feeling like a king. I remember the very moment that all slipped away, and I fell to my knees in the sand.
And I remember after. I remember things that would never be in the show. I remember growing up. High school, and first dates, and my mother’s face as she got older. I remember the cold, lonely apartment after my divorce. I remember birthday parties where everyone scent their regrets. I remember working as a police detective, and not bothering to feed myself, aside from the occasional bowl of noodles. I remember the smell of those noodles, and the feeling that somehow I still didn’t deserve to be eating them. And I remember dying on a clear day, when an elevator in a high rise corporate building mysteriously malfunctioned.
And that is what led me to identify as fictionkin- as a man who lived and breathed and fought and died in another world. That is who I am. I have had other lives, and that is just one.
Digimon is a cartoon created by someone who is not you. How are you someone else’s creation? And yes, I do think Jewish people are delusional. Just like anybody who claims a god that has been translated down a few cultures is. I grew up in a Pentecostal church and believe most of it is hokey at best.
Okay, I don’t really have more to say to an atheist/empiricist. My beliefs are not logical/fact based, they’re emotional and spiritual. If you dismiss all spiritual traditions, I don’t have any arguments for you.
The last thing I have to say to you is about your reply to @theangrylionshark
Lots of mentally ill people don’t think their issue causes any problems, but it does. It just takes years sometimes for anyone to see it. If your mental states change, that’s a psychological issue that needs tending to. Mental states don’t just change for no reason.
There are lots of people in the kin community who have been kin for decades and don’t have any problems related to it. You’re way off track if you think kin are inevitably mentally ill.
As for mental states not changing for no reason, our mental states change all the time. They change due to sleep, or meditation, they change due to arousal, or anger, and for a thousand different reasons. Not every altered mental state is some kind of cause for alarm.
Their words were something along the lines of…
“My mental state changes but I have control”
I’m sorry, that’s not normal. When you say mental state, I’m assuming you mean conscious mental state of being aware of your surroundings and not mentally ill. Not sleeping or meditation or arousal etc. That’s not what I mean.
As a mentally ill person, I think anyone describing what you described is mentally ill. And I have a fucking personality disorder.
And as a mentally ill person (bipolar) who is also kin, I can tell you that the two experiences are completely different. Being kin is not a mental illness, nor a symptom of one.
You know what, have fun being god damn Ken from Digimon. Have fun playing pretend and wallowing in delusion. I’m not trying to stop you but I think you’re fucking insane. And any doctor you tell that you think you’re a children’s cartoon is gonna think the same thing. You still never answered my question though, why do you think you’re these things? Because I’m sorry “feeling” it is just as bad as people who think changing your outfit makes you a different gender.
You have fun believing everyone who isn’t an atheist is mentally ill. That’s 99% of everyone in the world.
And I did answer your question. I sent you a multi-paragraph essay about exactly why I believe these things, which it appears you ignored. http://captain-s-mindfang.tumblr.com/post/140030879002/i-just-dont
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