Mordax et al

edrecoveryprobs:

• Don’t go clothes shopping with people who stress you out. Period. Go by yourself or with a friend who can support you if things go south.
• Go to stores that cater to your body size. Being realistic with yourself here can be stressful but it’s better than going to a store that is meant for children and then freaking out about having the “wrong” body. In general, do the people in the ads have a similar body shape/size? The mannequins? The shoppers? Avoid making judgments about whether it’s a good or bad thing, you just want to maximize efficiency by going to the stores that have the most variety of your-size clothes.
• If I’m alone, I make sure to have my phone charged so that I can vent into the notepad app, or reach out to a friend, or look up affirmations, etc.
• I usually also wear something baggy to go clothes shopping, just in case afterwards I feel too visible and want to hide.
• Say affirmations right before you head out, right before you enter the store, right before you enter the dressing room, and right before trying things on. “I am here to find clothes that fit my body and my personality. I’m a good person; I love myself no matter what some pants have to say” or even “I can leave whenever I want; this may be stressful, but I am in control and I’ll be okay”. Praying can also help you feel more supported and less alone if you’re into that/are willing to try it.
• Really try not to look at the sizes. If you’re tempted, remember that size in general doesn’t matter, but also that clothing sizes are mostly arbitrary. Unless you’re buying men’s pants, the clothing sizes are picked based on the whims of the clothing manufacturers. In some cases, they deliberately have their sizes run low so that they seem more exclusive or fancy. Whenever I think of that I think “damn that’s so fucked up, what a horrible game. I’m not gonna play it!” If you are buying men’s pants, remember that those numbers are there to help you find something that fits YOUR body.
• Remember that clothes are there to fit YOUR body; your body doesn’t exist to fit a given pair of shorts. Seriously. Remember that. I spent so much time squeezing into shorts that would just make me feel squeezed and too-much. That’s ridiculous! Imagine if you felt the same way about movies, and forced yourself to sit through awful horror movies with tons of jump-scares, just because you felt like you ought to be the kind of person who likes every movie genre. Ridiculous! Understandable, but ridiculous nonetheless. Be yourself. Invite things into your life that make it better, not worse.
• Try to switch from a “hide my flaws” mindset to “express my personality”. I love brightly colored clothes, clothes with cute animals on them, that are comfortable/stretchy, and t-shirts with puns. When I wear stuff like that, it reminds me and everyone around me that I’m not a store mannequin – I’m a human being who likes cute animals and bright colors and stretching and relaxing without worry or discomfort. And when I’m in the store and I find something I just love, I’m so excited at the find that all that matters is finding one that I’ll actually be able to wear for a long time. I tell myself how sad I’d be if I had to give away this purple teddy bear t-shirt, unworn, because when I bought it i cared more that it said x instead of y.
• Pay attention to the feel and quality of clothes, not just the look or the size!
• If you find a good, layer-able piece that you know you’ll wear a lot, buy it in several colors. Saves you time and stress!
• Work with/around your particular triggers. Example: It’s hard for me to look at my undressed body after eating, so I usually plan on clothes shopping in the morning or before a meal just so I can avoid that particular trigger. It’s something I’d like to work through eventually but when the priority is getting some clothes, focus on finding the best compromise between challenging yourself and not feeling overwhelmed.
• Wear comfortable, form-fitting under-clothes when trying on clothes! I try to wear a cami and maybe some leggings or bike shorts that don’t alter my shape much. This also helps with not seeing myself naked and since it doesn’t make the clothes look much different I think it’s overall good
• imagine yourself not in the dressing room, but in an actual situation where you’d wear this. Instead of “gosh I hate the way my legs look” try to think “I could wear these leggings with my favorite dress” or “this would go really well with that necklace my mom gave me”
• Practice self-care afterwards! You deserve a healthy relationship with food no matter what. Acknowledge any feelings that came up, and if you need support in avoiding a lapse, get it!