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Why telling people to change/repress/drop kintypes is psychologically harmful and abusive
- you are putting the theoretical momentary ‘offense’ of a group of people over the real, sustained feelings and mental health of a person who has to live with them day to day.
- you are telling someone to change a part of their core identity to be more socially appropriate
- a kintype is a discovered reason for feelings and memories that already existed in a person. By telling them to ignore that kintype, you are asking them to decontextualize potentially traumatic memories and experiences.
- you are telling them their emotional and psychological needs and health are unimportant to you.
- a kintype is not something someone choses. Telling someone to drop one is telling them to do something literally impossible.
- Telling a person to repress their kin memories is like telling them to repress childhood memories
- Ignoring a kintype won’t make it go away, it will only make the effect that kintype has on someone more confusing and upsetting. (effects like memories, supernumerary phantom limbs, feelings of loss and grief, etc)
Yes, this list is somewhat repetitive, but it’s important that people understand these points. Telling people to repress/drop/change kintypes is harmful, no matter what.
@problematicgumshoe
- You are putting the actual offense of a group of people who have to live with bigotry, discrimination, and oppression day to day below the feelings of someone who wants to claim the aforementioned group’s identity.
- You are telling people to ignore offensive actions of identifying as something you are not to me more socially appropriate.
- A past life is not identifying as someone, a kintype is not always a past life and a past life is not always a kintype. If someone has traumatic memories, they should do their best to get help, if able to access it. They have the ability to keep past lives private.
- You are telling the previously mentioned group’s safety and oppression are unimportant to you.
- A kintype is something one can chose to not make public. Telling someone that it is offensive to identify as something is ok.
- Publicly identifying as an oppressed group you are not a part of is offensive and hurtful to people of those groups.
- Ignoring a kintype won’t make it go away and you don’t have to, but you should not be public with being offensive, rude, and hurtful to oppressed groups.
And to reply to your other post:
Thus far I have not tried telling anyone what it means to be kin, but one thing I do know is what it means to be kin is to identify as them in this life, in your current body.
I have not harassed anyone, not sent any ad hominem attacks, nor told anyone that they are or are not kin.
- You don’t speak for all ‘people who have to live with bigotry, discrimination, and oppression’. Very few people who could actually be offended by kin are. Most of them don’t care.
- I am a person who suffers from bigotry, discrimination and oppression, just fyi. And I’m sure you do too. Most people on this site do. I am a mentally ill, physically disabled transman. Just so we’re clear.
- “A past life is not identifying as someone”– do you have past lives? Who are you to say this? I think you may be mistaken about what otherkin is. People who merely ‘identify as’ someone are not kin.
- No kin are going around claiming to have a physical disability in this life that they did as kin, nor are they claiming to be the race they were as kin.
- Kin DO keep their identities private. In order for anyone to discover and be offended by someone’s kin identity they have to come to the kin tags or to that person’s personal tumblr. Kin are not posting thier kin shit in hashtag bl//ackl//ives//matter (I don’t want this to come up in a search for that) or in tags for asian people, or in tags for people with disabilities.
- Kin keep their kin shit on kin tags.
- You are the one coming into a community and telling people what to post and what not to post. That’s offensive.
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