When and how did you realise you were an empath? (Apologies if this sent twice, my internet is currently flickering on and off)
This answer is probably going to be a bit of a mess. I’ve been identifying myself as an empath for so long I’ve sort of lost track of when I first started calling myself one. Let’s see if I can sort of pick it apart.
I was first exposed to the concept of Empathy as a psychic ability (and frankly probably as a concept in general) when I was five or six, watching Star Trek the Next Generation. For those who don’t know, one of the main characters of ST: TNG is a woman named Deanna Troi who is part alien, and thus, can sense the hidden emotions of others. She was my favorite character, for that exact reason. I’ve always been unusually sensitive to the feelings and emotions of those around me, so the character resonated with me even when I was that young.
I don’t think I really got that most people didn’t perceive the world the same way I did until I was a young teenager. People’s negative emotions in my vicinity, even hidden ones can and did make me physically ill just by being around them. Crowds tend to trigger mania or euphoria. And I would, especially back then, tend to unconsciously pick up and mirror people’s mental and emotional state, as well as just generally knowing how people were feeling, even when they were hiding it.
Anyway, when I was in my early teenage years, my unknowing kinfeels were super intense, and I was starting to try to figure out why I didn’t feel like a human, and why I didn’t feel like I belonged. So I started reaching out through the internet to try to find some answers.
The first thing I found was the early 2000s era Real Vampire community. Being an edgelord and a goth 15 year old at the time I poked around the community for a few months. It never really clicked with me, but one aspect did: reading about so-called ‘psychic vampires’ that fed on people’s energy and emotions led me to other parts of the internet, and to reading about empaths and empathic abilities. And that’s when I really realized what was up with me in that sense.
So, the short answer is, when I was around 15, and thanks to google searching my own weird experiences.
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