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I see a lot of talk about “actually check ins can be so hot” or “scene negotiations can be sooo hot” or whatever and sure, they can be, explicit consent can be hot, but also.
It doesn’t have to be.
It’s okay if your negotiations are clumsy and awkward, if you kinda slip out of your roles for check ins during scenes, if the consent discussions aren’t the hot parts for you. They don’t need to be hot. They’re necessary for everyone’s safety, and having a safe and healthy environment for your kink is infinitely more important than avoiding awkwardness at all costs.
You and your partner(s) are worth the possible awkwardness. Consent is mandatory, even when it isn’t sexy.
This is great and a reminder that if your sex (of any kind) gets awkward or silly or clumsy, it’s okay and normal and it doesn’t have to ruin anything, just go with it. Sometimes sex is clumsy and funny and gross and fun. Accepting that these moments are a normal part of sex will help you have better sex.
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