Winning
So it’s been a while since I Talked about my Naga lifetime. So I figured I’d share some thoughts on some stuff that’s been on my mind lately.
My mother was a dark sorceress of some renown. A genius, powerful, wicked and beautiful. She entranced my father when they met (never told me how, but I had my theories) , and they were soon married. She quit venturing and settled down as Crown Princess , my dads wife. I looked up to her. Loved her. I learned mannerisms, magic and style from her. She told me stories of her exploits and adventures to help me to sleep when I was little. And then she died.
She died, and the town only remembered her as the crown princess. Held memorials for her annually, mourned the loss of the princess.
But I remembered my mother the sorceress. I worked hard to be like her. In my hurt , I took her memory with me when I ran away. I *mastered* my craft. I was sharp, skilled and capable. I was going to be the dark sorceress my mother was, and I was going to make a *name* for myself. Naga the Serpent. Boisterous , feared , and beautiful. I hand picked the woman I knew could challenge me to be my rival , and it was the biggest mistake I ever made. I got a crush on young Lina Inverse, and wound up losing to her, repeatedly. Becoming her ‘friend’ and constantly looking like second best. Songs were sung of our exploits, only I was left out of the lyrics. I punched out a bard once because of that. She was a fun partner in crime, always attracting danger.
But my crush faded and I eventually split from her. The damage was done, Lina left me with a complex. My esteem over my abilities dwindled and I felt the need to make my mark in the world surge anew. Songs were sung of me, but only if my body or embarrassments. I had to correct this. I *would* correct it.
I drank more often then, but you wouldn’t ever see me without my smile. I had a way, where I always looked on the bright side, smiled outwardly even when I was sad. Even when I was pissed the fuck off, I still grinned and laughed at the world. I continued my travels, always trying to escalate and drive for greater glory. I engaged in darker magic, destroyed bandit hordes, mercenary work, engaged in skirmishes between kingdoms.
I don’t know how it worked out for me. My memories stop somewhere in my late 20s, early 30s, after my sisters wedding. I don’t remember anything later… Even if I’ve meditated on it over and over. All I know is I have some leftover feelings which may be from this life. a drive to ‘win’, a fear and insecurity of being average. Intense hatred of the phrase ‘only a human’. Worries if not being good enough. I only know I *was* good enough. I had to be. Because Gracia Seyruun, Naga the White Serpent doesn’t give up. I would have made my mark, even if I had to burn it into the soil of the planet like an everlasting scar
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