Mordax et al

thesorority:

netherianphoenix379:

thesorority:

realmultipleadvice:

:

We’ve seen it happen before, and honestly had no idea that it was falling out of favor. To us, it’s proof that these things just go in cycles.

From headmatefaq’s glossary page:

alter is the most commonly used term for someone in a multiple system, but it isn’t preferred by everyone because it has incredibly offensive origins.

I can’t find anything about netherianphoenix’s views on it.

Personally, we don’t think endogenic systems should use the term at all. It’s a traumagenic-exclusive term. If you’re an endogenic system using it, the implication is that you have DID or OSDD-1. (And you can see why that’s bad.)

We certainly don’t think of it as a “bad word”, just not a word that we, as endogenic systems, have no right to use.

Shoutout to system B who found out netherianphoenix’s views!

This is a link to it!

The opinions of others aside, and per our best recollection, alter" is the only word ever historically considered or used exclusively by one group and not the other.
This was mostly done by one group adamantly not using it, rather than intentionally restricting its use to another.

It’s initial rejection came years ago from systems diagnosed with DID/OSDD-1 (called MPD at that time) who chose to look at themselves differently and found the term too impersonal and dehumanizing.
Things like “headmates”, I believe, came much later.

Nevertheless, whatever the history is, it comes down to respecting the words others choose to define themselves.

Systems both with and without diagnoses and/or trauma may object to the term “alter” being applied to them if they don’t use it to refer to themselves or each other. In return, no one should be telling others /not/ to use it if that is how they, themselves, see the others in their system.
(Note: “alter” translates as “other” in German.)
-Serenity

Okay, so we’re going to address the anon’s concern on the “alter is a bad word” opinion. The reason we hold that view that “alter is a bad word” is because we’ve been taught to. We’ve been taught by others (specifically by DID/OSDD-1 systems) that it’s not okay for us to use that term ever. 

The term “alter” does hold the implication that headmates are “other”, an alternative version of someone else. Many feel like they are their own people and don’t want to be viewed as an alternative to anyone. Many don’t want anyone else to be held as “real” while everyone else is just “alter”. 

Unfortunately, we have had someone in the past do this. A young man that Raven had been seeing decided that Raven was the only “real one” while everyone else was just an “alter”. It didn’t feel good and has made us wary of the term ourselves. 

There are those among us who would be okay with the term, though. Raven (ironically) does view himself and those within his subsystem as being alters. He is a split from his brother Garek. While he does think the word applies to him and would have zero problem with it, time and time again, we have seen DID systems (read: systems who have a diagnosis) jump on endogenic or traumagenic systems without a diagnosis for using it. 

Quite frankly, it’s not worth the hassle. 

I think the reason my sisters and I are perplexed about telling people not to use the term is because, back in the day, you didn’t have to.

Prior to Tumblr, it was more about how you and the people in your group saw each other. It wasn’t about if you had a doctor’s note or not.

It wasn’t about “traumagenic” vs “endogenic”.
It was more about how you understood the nature and experience of plurality:
As an illness or as a way of being?

How you got to plurality didn’t matter.
And in places outside of Tumblr, it still doesn’t.

Tumblr has this weird fixation on diagnoses being used to determine legitimacy.
It’s like a weird kind of identity politics.

The DSM is used as a checklist of who gets to be in the “in-group” and who doesn’t.
Considering that, it’s not surprising many on Tumblr have seized DSM as way to “otherize” people in the same way society did to them.

I described this all to our therapist and she was shocked that people were using a billing desk reference to construct their identities.

They don’t get it. The various array of “identities” available to them in the DSM are constructed, revised and even erased by neurotypicals.

Doesn’t anyone else see a problem with that?

It never fails to amaze me. We work in behavioral health and have several diagnoses ourselves. We know what stigma can do to people.

To see others scrambling to be psychiatrically labeled in order to fit in is just bizarre.

-Liberty